A lot has happened since I last wrote

From May to October, I lived the life of a spinster of a certain age. Caring for five cats and two dogs sucked the life out of me & I couldn't wait to escape from it. But I liked the alone time. 

October, I FINALLY mustered the courage to get professional help. I was crying for weeks (months!!) straight and couldn't function well anymore (with thoughts of offing myself). I was diagnosed with MDD with anxious distress, and was prescribed meds. Escitalopram is doing wonders for me. 

November to April, I was in the US for a very long vacation. Got to visit Korea during my layover. Had a smooth experience with the IO & Customs both here and abroad. Got to visit other states. Got to hang out with a high school friend and my relatives. I had the best-ish five months of my life, but it was hella expensive. If I'll be given a chance to do it again, my bike is coming with me! And I'll make sure to save like a madman months before leaving. 

March onwards, I wasn't getting writing projects anymore, just one or two. Until now. Practically unemployed. Super stressful. I can't even afford to eat in McDonald's nowadays. 

Meanwhile, I think I'm slowly healing. Loneliness is still very much my vibe, but the heavy feelings are mostly out of the picture, most of the time. Misery doesn't prefer my company as much. I don't wake up debilitated. I find it easier to smile/laugh than cry lately. Is this how regular people feel on a daily basis? I don't know. This new life is very new to me! I guess I've been so used to being depressed. I don't know if this is going to last, but I'm happy I get to experience normalcy. Save for the weight gain, I like the current state I'm in. I hope I get better.

Oh, L has a job now! Yay! 

Anyway, I'm working on a short series and one film. Things are kind of looking up career-wise, but I need cash. Right now. 

New year, new favorite poem (so far)

 

The line etched into a headstone, between the dates of birth and death

represents each step we take on earth, and every single breath.

For many, it’s just a hyphen, marking time between the years,

but in that little dash is a lifetime of laughter, love and tears.

We each create the legacy our dash will someday represent,

and decide if the life we’re given is truly lived…or merely spent.

Some deem themselves successful if they can spend in large amounts,

but how you spend your only dash is all that really counts.

Time steals our days and hours before we recognize the theft

and we live each day not knowing how much of our dash is left.

Responsibilities of daily life -- the bills, the job, the cash

affect the way we choose to use this important little dash.

Memories in the making are happening now, and happening here.

So take the time to make the time, before they disappear.

This is it. This is the show, with no time to rehearse.

Minutes move only forward -- never, ever in reverse.

So, don’t spend this time in sorrow, or with bitterness and fear.

The future may be uncertain,

but right now, your dash is here.

"The Dash" by Linda Ellis

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Happy 2024, nonexistent reader. The dash is the love you give and receive.